Some ideas on fear of both failure and success.

Are you scared of failure or success?

Hello again, this weeks ramblings come typed from my phone while sitting on the plane headed to Jakarta for LSD ( long slow distance ) keep an eye out for a recap of that event coming . 

I have found with writing that I need to strike while the idea is hot. The title of this came to me yesterday so I wrote it in my notes and now seems like a good time to figure out how to turn that into something worth your time. 

So, let’s start with where this weeks topic has been relevant in my life and how we can approach our goals and fears in a more manageable way. * note I’m not confident in either category but am fairly headstrong when it comes to making shit happen. So hope that pre requisite is enough for you to keep reading.

“My goals are so big i’m scared to write them down” . Out of this list from Matilde ( who we did a feature on before ) this one stuck to me.
I immediately thought about my first attempt at putting my art work on clothes. Here’s a little backstory.

Some friends had a print shop so I decided to learn how to screen print and made 24 shirts. I went with the box to the busiest street in my city and somehow sold them to randoms and some friends in a couple hours. I did this again the next weekend and the following.  A friend who had a street wear shop said he saw 5 or 6 people walking by with my shirts on that morning. He asked if I wanted to sell them in his store. I said NO.

I liked the idea of sharing the story of these pieces and the personal exchange in selling them the way I was. A tattoo artist knew I would always print one for myself that was different and he would buy it off my back. That was kinda crazy. It lead to eventually getting calls from stores which I had no connections with offering to order shirts and sell them in their shops. I still said NO. 

Any capitalistic human would have gone all in. I actually just stopped making them. Thinking about this now with 2 decades of more life experience is kind of wild. 

I feel like sometimes the goals we have can be drowned out by fear a lot of the time. The fear of failure, the fear of judgement, the fear of success. Wait. Why would anyone be afraid of success?

From my personal perspective the idea of “success” is hard to define and that finish line never really comes. The fear of which exists because once you reach success the failure of not continuing to level up starts to really gain weight. So, in this situation and many other times in life I would just be okay with this level well below my potential. Still pretty good but nowhere near where it could be.

This topic can relate to a runners journey. It begins with a pretty steep curve to allow our bodies to adapt and once we feel this initial feeling of success. ( whatever that might be ) most of us continue to push for more. Faster, further or maybe both. We might join a race and never really give it our all because we are scared to fail. We just sit in the backseat and let our potential just slip away. Damn. That sucks. A lot of the time it’s because of comparison. It’s almost impossible to not compare ourselves with the amount of media we consume now. I have to really remind myself that I do this running thing because of the discipline it takes to maintain and how that sprinkles into all other aspects of my life. Maybe you feel the same? Consider why you started and if that thread is still woven into the fabric of your goals.

Being scared of failure is likely a more spoken about topic than success which makes sense. Nobody wants to fail. So, does this mean we need to adjust our goals? Or maybe reframe the idea of failure? I’ve likely written this down in previous blogs but i’ll come back to it. “NO FAILURE, JUST FEEDBACK”

I write this after not finishing an ultra marathon  race a month ago. I know what I need to do different and in the moment was okay with the outcome. But then the little devil on my shoulder starts to chime in and make me fear the next race. What if this happens again? Should I just not enter races anymore?

To bring this all back together I think that most of the things we chase won’t be spoken about in our eulogy. We won’t be remembered for our failures but rather how we kept coming back after getting knocked down. That resilience and persistence is what builds amazing character. It takes time but know any story worth reading has ups, downs and plot twists. 

Let’s vow to no longer minimize our potential through fear, encourage our friends to shoot for the moon and together we can realize our best selves. Let’s define success by the honest effort put forth and the impact that has on those around us. 

Something like that.

Hope to see you for a run and coffee real soon.

peace.

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